I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
