I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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