I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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