I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Sorry about my life...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
