That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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