Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
