My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
