I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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