I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
