He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
