Kiss
Puke
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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