We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
