Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
