the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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