before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
