My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
