Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
