Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
