Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
