Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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