around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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