True but thats because hes a fetus.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
