i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
