My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
