There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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