are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
