He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
