We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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