We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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