i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
