hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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