Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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