I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
