Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
