my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm getting married
To pizza
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
