I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
