Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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