Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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