I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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