I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
