This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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