And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just gargled with NyQuil
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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