Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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