I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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