True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
