what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
