if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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