When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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