Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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