2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
