is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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