If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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