I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
