I cockslap morals
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
